Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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