you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
