In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
