I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Everyone says I win the strip club
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
