I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
