i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
