eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
