Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
