i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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