Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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