if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Come on in and take your pants off
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
