i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
