do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
