butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
