tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize