Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
