just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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