If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize