I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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