Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
