This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
