i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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