Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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