omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
