she looked like the before picture.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
