My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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