I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
