I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
