We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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