I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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