Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
