My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
