I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We don't watch enough power rangers
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize