I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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