Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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