apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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