Will you blow on my dice?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
