I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
