saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My vagina is officially offended.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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