Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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