Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
