Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
its not stalking. its research.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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