big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
