this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
