oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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