i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
