I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize