Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
