I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
