ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize