Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
please come you make the beer taste better
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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