Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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