Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
