nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
