one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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