your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
