I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
