She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
what day is it and did you see me today?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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