I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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