so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
