If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
