Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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