Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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