I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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