he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
