yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
