You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize