just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
