I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Randomize
