Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
