did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
