Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize