She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
