i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
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