I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
