It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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