Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
