a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
love makes seman taste better
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
